The decision to step up was not taken lightly and the closing of the ebay store was the defining moment. Initially I felt liberated, giddy even..... free to make decisions about what face I wanted to put on MY business. Set my own terms....give MY customers a unique shopping experience that was mutually beneficial rather than one designed to line the pockets of the middle man. Unfortunately that first flush of bravado didn't last long and recently my business confidence has taken beating. Because while I was busy having meetings and issuing instructions to web developers and graphic designers, while I was booking print advertising and ordering stock, I realized that some of assumptions I had made just weren't panning out. Some of the things I had counted on, just didn't eventuate. Have you heard the term analysis paralysis?? Well I got myself in this vicious never ending thought pattern, trying to work out what I was doing anything wrong, was I in fact doing anything wrong?? Apart from the fact that I couldn't make sensible business decisions, I also created a MASSIVE creative block. I started to question if I have the skill to design, write and teach in this industry. "HHhhmm Maybe that is the problem, doesn't matter if my business skills aren't great....my designs and my work just aren't up to scratch...it isn't as good as blah blah blah...." I think you get the frame of mind I have been in!
Amongst all this negative chatter....there has been one phrase that will occasionally pop into my head:
NO APOLOGIESIn truth, this has seemed too simple to be the answer that I have been seeking..... I have spent hours trying to reason out answers and justifications for my predicament and I am tired from it...exhausted even. So from now on I surrender to the simplicity:
NO APOLOGIESI will no longer seek to hide or explain away my short comings. I am who I am. I bring a LOT to the table and what I don't know, I am capable of learning.
My work is good, in fact it is better than good. I will not stifle the creative process by comparing myself to others. I will find my niche, I just need to embrace the journey.
I AM IN BUSINESS....aspiring to make money is not a bad thing. I will no longer undervalue my work or my time!
Goodness, that feels good!!
Today I put all that into action....It has been an interesting kind of day. AND I took one very particular bold step! Once the details are fleshed out I will fill you in....but until then you will just need to wait!!
The line is drawn....and I am powering on!